"Man to Man" Grief Room Blog Spot

"THERE is an (Grief) ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM " There’s an elephant in the room. It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with, “How are you?” and, “I’m fine,” and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather; we talk about work; we talk about everything else— except the elephant in the room. There’s an elephant in the room. We all know it is there. We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together. It is constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very big elephant. It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about the elephant in the room. Oh, please, say her name. Oh, please, say “Barbara” again. Oh, please, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. For if we talk about her death, perhaps we can talk about her life. Can I say, “Barbara” to you and not have you look away? For if I cannot, then you are leaving me alone in a room—with an elephant. --- Terry Kettering The first...

“Early Phases of Grief: The First Days and Weeks” by Tim Heller, MSW/LCSW When my wife, Sandra, died 4 years ago, I was with her in our home with DCH Hospice. I told my young adult daughters and my wife’s family and then went about notifying extended family that lived away. Having worked in hospice for over 17 years I thought would have a pretty good handle on this process. I had myself convinced I was prepared for her death. After all, we knew it was going to happen for more than 3 years. However, there is something different about the death of a loved one, when it actually occurs. I soon discovered I needed to actually experience this death and the bereavement phases that followed, before I knew what it was really about. This is just one person’s experience into and now through the journey called grief. I would have to say, I still found it difficult at times to actually follow through with the many tasks associated with her death as well as some of the tasks of everyday livin...