The Elephant in the Room- look out!

"THERE is an (Grief) ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM "

There’s an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with,
“How are you?” and, “I’m fine,”
and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather;
we talk about work;
we talk about everything else—
except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant
as we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about
the elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say her name.
Oh, please, say “Barbara” again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about
the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about her death,
perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say, “Barbara” to you
and not have you look away?

For if I cannot,
then you are leaving me alone
in a room—with an elephant.

--- Terry Kettering

The first year or two after my wife Sandra died, I experienced this "Elephant the Room" feeling with many people except my closest friends.  After a while I decided to conquer the elephant and did so by talking about her all the more. They probably wished I would shut up.  I was taking a chance, but what did I have to lose?  I always wanted be a big hunter like my brother Mike anyway.  Keeping her memory alive was more important than some superficial friendships.-- Tim Heller.

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