Deacon Grief & Loss Continuing Education Presentation

I presented this past weekend with Fr. George Plaster. He spoke about Hospital Pastoral Care to the sick and dying and I spoke about hospice, death, dying and grief and loss. I spoke as a hospice social worker/grief counselor and as a survivor of spousal loss. While I have shared a little bit of my own grief work with others, it was the first time to share it with my fellow brother Deacons. I found healing in this journey of grief - to be speaking about grief to these brothers.

These men and their wives knew Sandra before she died through the Deacon Formation program. We spent much time together- sharing the Eucharist, formation classes and meals. We are a very close group. They provided us so much support and comfort during her sickness and dying. I tearup just thinking about how kind they were. Their presence and support helped make Christ present to us while were going through the most diffucult part of our lives.

I feel like I have worked through my grief over Sandra's death. My job now is to be there for my girls (Dani and Jessie 24 & 26) -when they need me.

When I reflect on gratefulness, I am right back at this spot by my wife's bedside and this group of now 23 deacons and their wives.What a blessing they were then and continue to be today. I know that God called me to the permanent diaconate and brought these brother deacons
into our lives to walk along this diffucult, but necessary path with us.
God Bless each of them and their families.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review: “When Your Soul Mate Dies, a Guide to Heroic Mourning”

Book Review, by Timothy Heller, LISW, MAPT “When Your Soul Mate Dies, a Guide to Heroic Mourning” by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., Companion Press, 2016. When I was walking through the library this “new” book, “When Your Soul Mate Dies, a Guide to Heroic Mourning” jumped into my hands. Having worked in Hospice for nearly 30 years, Wolfelt’s work was very familiar. He pioneered the “Companioning” / Grief Reconciliation approach to grief and loss. If you are not familiar with Wolfelt contribution to the field of Bereavement, it is worth your time to explore.   From my experience his “Companioning” model works well with Bereavement groups/ counseling. Being a Hospice Social Worker and Bereavement Coordinator as well as a Survivor of Soulmate Loss (spouse) this book spoke to me directly.   Kind of like when someone says, “that clergyperson was speaking directly to me in her sermon.” My only regret was the book was not available 11 years ago when I lost my soulmate. This ...
Read more

Dealing with Grief by Jason Fierstein, MA/LPC

Dealing With Grief Posted on   October 5, 2015   by   Jason  Fierstein, MA/LPC  http://phoenixmenscounseling.com/blog/2015   The Tale of The Mustard Seeds There is a famous tale from the Buddhist text called the Dhammapada about grief that I want to share with you. The wife of a wealthy Indian man in ancient times lost her only child, and out of her desperation and sorrow, was instructed to go meet the Buddha. Many had already thought that she had lost her mind because of her grief. The Buddha told her that before he could bring the chid back to life, she would need to find white mustard seeds from a family where no one had died, and bring them to him. The grieving woman went from house to house, but couldn’t find a household that had not suffered the death of a family member. She finally realized that that there is no house that is free from dying, and she returned to the Buddha, who comforted her and preached the truth about death and dyi...
Read more

My father's life and death...In the living Years

Image
Sometimes there is so much to say to our fathers, that never gets said. I heard this song in the late 1980s on the radio on my way to Iowa to see my parents.  It was one of the few trips I made there alone. I started catching these song lyrics to "The Living Years"by "Mike and the Mechanics"  I pulled the car over to the side of the road, just to sit there and listen and reflect on the words and what the words meant to me and my relationship with my own father. On this otherwise long boring trip from Cincinnati to central Iowa, I told myself I need to reach out to my father, who was 66 at the time, to re-open up the lines of communication.  My mother had always been the talker, my father was usually quiet and humble.  He was an intelligent man and like most men of his time, kept his thoughts to himself. In his life time, he had been through a lot- his mother died when he was 12 and thus was raised by his father and older sister. He grew up during the Great De...
Read more