"The Firsts" 13 August 08

As a hospice social worker and grief coordinator, for years, I heard survivors talk about how disconcerting those "firsts" were. Until I started down that road myself, I never quite got it on the heart level. There are at least two kinds of 'firsts'. The times when you temporarily 'forget' your love has died and you go to call him/her and religious and secular holidays. Those firsts holidays were unbelievably empty. My Christian faith, family and some of my friends have been helpful. So far my daughters and I went through most of them together, (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, Easter, Memorial Day -anniversary of moving into our Indiana home).

The other day, my older daughter, Jessie, called and asked me if I was upset because her Mom's birthday was coming up 8/16. While it was in my awareness, I was actually thinking more about the 1st anniversary of Sandra's death 10/10/08.


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